A Tried-and-Tested Formula

I made sure that I got in 30 minutes early so that I can have a good seat for the screening of Formula 17. When I got to Gateway, the rain started to pour—as in, Noah’s Ark pour. So when I got to Cinema 5, there were only about 7 people forming a line. Oh great!

The screening was scheduled at 6:30pm, but the previous screening ended at 6:20pm. From the looks of the numerous kids coming out, the movie was Madagascar, and the theater had been full. That means a delay because they have to wait for the theater to empty, clean it up, then set-up for the next movie, etc. Oh great. Good thing I’m used to standing for a long time around movie houses. Years of practice, hehehe.

So there I was patiently waiting in line and I decided to survey the crowd. That’s when I noticed them. “Them” are also our sisters in pink but in public they keep their colors heterochromatic. They hide behind terms like PLU, Odders, and all that jazz. They have the AE-look down pat. They’re there to watch a gay film, but damn if they’ll get caught in public lining up for a gay film. For whatever reason they couldn’t line up and be counted as a pink sister. So they stand far away from the line, surveying it intently, hungrily, waiting for it to move. I didn’t know whether to feel sorry or to scoff at them as the line got longer and longer. I could see conflicting emotions in their eyes: stay away and not blow their cover, or line up to get good seats inside?

In the end it didn’t really matter because the moviehouse was huge. I think it’s the biggest in Gateway’s Cineplex. Even the latecomers got good enough seats. The theater was around 3/4 full, so I guess one could count it a success—had it been done in Megamall, the theater would have been full.

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Formula 17 is really just a fluff piece, an easy-on-the-eyes, brain-lite feel-good movie that is simply out to entertain you. Sure, there are those who may be put off by the severely stereotypical support cast (three flamboyant gay types), but if they think those flamboyant portrayals push back advances in gay rights by a few years then they’re missing the point. The whole movie is stereotypical. It’s a formula movie with the guy falling for another guy.

Provincial teen goes to the big city during summer vacation for an EB and a search for true love. He meets the biggest playboy in Taipei and promptly falls head over heels. They bump cute, take a ride on a motorbike, eat ice cream, and skirt the issue. Then one evening provincial boy tells playboy, “Let’s stop pretending, I’m tired.” They finally kiss and have sex. But then playboy ups and leaves the next morning. What happened? Is this the end of true love? Are questions like “Is this the end of true love?” really necessary?

The audience of course lapped it all up. Hey, it’s a light comedy and a fairy (both meanings of the word) tale. And oh my god, there was absolutely NO WOMEN in every frame of film. Seriously.

And the leads are just too cute to look at. One’s got the F4 pretty city boy look down pat while the other fits the “cute simple lad from the province” mode perfectly; they are on opposite ends of the economic and social spectrum. In between them are queens and queers of varying degrees. There are scenes of man-to-man kissing, foreplay, various degrees of undress showing lean, toned Chinese bodies, and clear, full body shots of a guy swimming underwater (you can see the bubbles clinging near his bellybutton and at the waistline of his swimming trunks).

So if you want to have zero brain activity with maximum eye candy, watch Formula 17.

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Speaking of Madagascar, the song “I Like To Move It” is so addicting, I dug up my Now 27 compilation and ripped the original song (sung by Reel 2 Real featuring The Mad Stuntman) into my iTunes in the office so I can play over and over while dancing the Robot Dance. Wheee!