The McVie Show Goes Talk: Reach For The Sky

Okay, we have here with us Sky of The White Papers. He goes by many names, which is why we’ll just call him Sky for now. Uh, Sky? The camera is to your right, but you can look at me while I’m asking you a question. It will be weird if you keep staring at the camera the whole time—hey! You listening to me? Okay, good.

So what do I call you? Oscar? Bryan? Sibil?
SKY: I don’t have a real name. Oscar belongs to my father, and I gave the name Bryan to my son. I was also a Bryan in the church registry but not in the birth certificate. Talk about vacillating parents.

Like parents, like son eh? You have been one of the most intriguing people I’ve never met in person yet. The fact that you’re straight yet you maintain friendly links with a lot of gays is fascinating, especially for someone like me who belongs to a generation wherein straights aren’t as comfortable with gays.
SKY: My father had a gay cousin, who was also my godfather (talk about having a fairy godfather) who shouldered half of my tuition in grade school. I was confused to call him ninong or ninang. Then there is this balding middle-aged married neighbor who would fondle me every time he saw me. Childhood trauma came in a beer belly and bad teeth. Now who do you think I’m afraid of?

It seems you had Jabba The Hut as your neighbor, how traumatic. But the rest of your childhood doesn’t seem to be too traumatic. At least music-wise.
SKY: Music was incidental. Those stuff are what I heard from the radio aside from the standards my father used to hear every Sunday. My musical taste evolved during high school along with some friends who kept digging on “old” new wave stuff (and to think it was the age before the Internet) because we were so not into rap (Andrew E) and metal (Metallica) music prevalent at that time—Introvoys before Paco Arespacochaga, Madness, The Care, Boomtown Rats, The Clash. We hogged at Depeche Mode’s Violator and scoured department stores for on-sale The Cure’s Disintegration tapes. We wanted to be different.

Interesting. One day when you grow older you’ll start looking for those standards your dad listened to. You’re so into 80s music—but were you also deeply into 80s fashion?
SKY: I remember 80s fashion with nostalgia. Today’s the age of fashion-proofing on the verge of boredom as the 80s had been exciting. Acid-washed, stone-washed, “baston”, baggy and high-wasted pants. Solid neon shirts. Head- and wristbands. “Spike” hairstyle. Aqua Net hairspray and New Wave gel. Espadrilles. Nike came by way of Cash and Carry, because Greenhills was too far from our place at that time. We took our fashion cue from That’s Entertainment and associated ourselves with Chuckie Dreyfus. Michael Jackson was still black back then and it’s cool with the girls if we knew the dance steps to Billie Jean.

You knew how to dance Billie Jean?! How about Beat It? Thriller? Does your wife know you danced at all?
SKY: I even knew how to dance Bad. I look funny when I dance. Now. Aging bones perhaps. There was this 80s-themed Christmas party that we attended and I knew how funny I moved to Rico Mambo, but what the hell. I was not the only one who looked funny that night.

How come you say you looked funny dancing Rico Mambo? Were you guys dancing in front of a mirror? Or do you have a copy of that dance number on video?
SKY: The venue was some 3-star hotel in Makati, and there was mirror behind the stage. Funny that the venue looked 80s too. There was even a disco ball. I have long limbs and not the beefy type. People like me look funny while dancing.

It’s interesting that you have a picture of a Diana Ross drag queen in your flickr. I wondered if that was you, but on further scrutiny it clearly wasn’t. But have you tried drag before?
SKY: It wasn’t me. I haven’t tried drag, but I had to proxy for a Miss Engineering contestant when my wife (my college girlfriend back then) had to buy the contestant’s (a male) bra and evening dress in SM City. Me and the contestant had the same body type but he was too busy practicing. I had to fit in the bra and evening dress that the contestant will be wearing, but I was not the one who had to romp in Miss Engineering drag.

But will you ever consider going drag, even for just once?
SKY: If the act of going drag is necessary, I’ll consider. As part of a presentation perhaps, but I need to be prepared. I am not used to attracting everybody’s attention—even if I’m a veteran presenter in the engineering world—I still get the jitters. I pressure myself to successfully pull it off while all eyes are on me. So if I have to do drag I have to do it best.

You really are very comfortable among gays. Have you been mistaken for a homosexual?
SKY: Yes, I think most men are mistaken at least once in their life. There was this friend of mine, to whom I was discussing my plans—I’m giving myself three years more in engineering then move on to photography, cooking, architecture, industrial and web design—all right-brained endeavors. Then he asked me if I was gay because I cook. I said, “I have the guts to break a live chicken’s neck. Is that gay enough?”

Oh yes! I have seen gays break a live chicken’s neck. They do that a lot during the talent portion in provincial gay beauty contests.
SKY: You should have seen me gut a pig for roasting. He he. I felt pity but we have to eat. As your shirt said, it’s a dog eat dog world. It’s how life is designed.

Okay, so you’ve been mistaken for a homosexual. But has anyone been foolish enough to actually make a move on you?
SKY: Foolish enough? You should say how poor the taste of that person is! He he. Yes, I’ve been the object of hits too. I take them casually—“pampahaba ng hair” in your lingo, because at least I know I have an appeal of some sort. I’ve not given in, though. Not even in the drunken state.

You’re too pa-humble about your looks. You’ll be surprised at how low the standards are when influenced by the spirit of alcohol, HAHAHAHAHA!!! Seriously, everyone is good-looking in some person’s eyes. So don’t tell your wife she has poor taste, hehehe.
SKY: I always anticipate that somebody will be online and will find out about this interview. I’m avoiding the word “assuming.” And it pays to be humble sometimes. He he.

Speaking of being online (hanep sa segue), how long have you been blogging? Whatever in the world made you start blogging in the first place?
SKY: I’ve been blogging for more than two years, first in a group blog that my high school classmates started. I started blogging while in a faraway place—I was staying for a month in Shanghai and having nothing else to do after (and even during) work, blog on my impressions of the city and debate with my idealist friends on the Philippine condition. I don’t know why, a strange land is very fertile for Pinoys to blog as you may have observed. I officially started in blog-city when I came back, and some of my Peyups.com articles were spawned there, including Shanghaied for a Month.

So now you’re not lonely anymore, why still blog?
SKY: I want to create a diversion. I’m swamped everyday in meetings, project plans, technical drawings and scientific papers. Previously I dreamt I got small and was inside this equipment that I used for my project, and one of its parts kept running after me and I woke up panting and sweating. I want to flex my right brain. I had to do this or have a nightmare again.

Have you ever blogged something which you regretted putting on-line? And do any of your family (wife, brothers and sisters) read your blog?
SKY: I did regret one of my posts and I had to put down the whole blog. I avoid blogging about my work, since I may leak some confidential information, or my ex-manager may find out how I hate him to the bone. I avoid blogging about my family, but subtly in some instances, because I am paranoid about somebody finding out about my kids and make them targets. Nobody in my family knows about my blog. I don’t know—it’s cheesy, there’s censorship, we might run out of things to say when we're by ourselves, or a post may turn out to be a fine piece for a good shouting match. Does your family read your blog?

Good point—no, my family has no idea I’m gay, so my blog remains a secret from them. (Well, to be fair, I’m just assuming they don’t know I’m gay, since no one’s asked me yet.)
SKY: I guess most bloggers don’t divulge their blogs to their kin. Anonymity is fun, but that’s just my guess.

You said there’ll be censorship if your loved ones read your blog, but isn’t there already some form of censorship when you post on-line? I mean, you don’t blog about your work or employers, isn’t that a form of censorship?
SKY: Yes it’s a form of censorship, but self-imposition is more palatable than other persons telling me what I should and should not post. I am my own MTRCB.

Your first e-book, Warmbodies, was amazing. My favorite was Coleen’s “Kwentong Lovelife.” Any particular favorite of yours?
SKY: Thanks for calling it amazing. Since I anticipate some of the blogger participants to be reading this interview, I won’t play favorites. But let me say that they have distinct writing styles and, being original posts from their blogs, portrays truth, honesty and straightforwardness not found in any other works, fiction or nonfiction. Take Coleen, since I know her personally, she shows how bitchiness arrives in the unguarded moment. Angel kills her inspirations then “sings about the grief.” Mud proved he’s the only living boy in Manila. Noreen, who coined The Kris Aquino Complex, takes Valentine Romances to the literary level. Freude typed like he was Hugh Jackman in Swordfish—you know, the uhm, scene where Halle Berry.... We still have not verified, though, if Shane really participated in the Bench underwear show.

So let’s flex your right brain, shall we? If you HAD to choose, what would you eat: ube na lasang tae, or tae na lasang ube? And why?
SKY: Is this a psychological question? Di pa ako nakatikim ng tae, kaya ang pipiliin ko ay ube na lasang tae. At least, may idea na ako kung ano ang lasa ng tae, pero pagkain pa rin sya. Ube sya e. Ang tae, kahit lasang litson pa yan, tae pa rin. Litson na hindi natunaw sa tyan kaya itinae na lang. He he.

If there's any “trait” that gays have which you'd like to have, what would it be?
SKY: Creativity, for obvious reasons.

Why do you think gays are creative? Not all are, you know.
SKY: I agree, and I know that I tend to generalize. But most gays I know are in the creative industry. I think gays are creative because they want to see beauty, and if there’s an absence of it, create beauty for themselves, even in states of pathos. I’m tired of pathos, though. I want calm. Calm is beauty. Not fabulous beauty but calm beauty. Whatever.

Gee, that wasn’t so terribly creative, was it? Okay, how about this one: let’s say the singer Isha asked, nay, begged you to have sex with her. But before you go into her bedroom, you find out that upon climax, she magically transforms into Madame Auring (apparently there’s a curse on her; she reverts back to Isha after calming down). Will you still push through?
SKY: Vagina is a vagina is a vagina. But can I make a request? Lights out when she’s transformed to Madam Auring.

But you’ll still hear her raspy voice and feel her hands on your body and feel her body under you.
SKY: Vagina is a vagina is a vagina. I’ll just concentrate on that thought.

Complete the sentence: If I had a vagina, I’d ___________.
SKY: ...want to get pregnant. The only thing that men can’t do—create life. Ang baduy ng sagot, sige iba na lang.

...put my finger in it to understand how female orgasm is like. Baduy pa rin. Di ko alam. I love Sky Jr. too much.

“I love Sky Jr. too much.” Hmmm, does that mean you’ve never experienced penis envy ever?
SKY: I know that penis envy is for those who don’t have a penis. Why would I envy something that I already have?

Okay. Given your philosophy of “Vagina is a vagina is a vagina,” here’s a philosophical question for you. Who would you have sex with—Madame Auring or Tiya Pusit? (Again, assuming you had to choose otherwise your family will be harmed.)
SKY: Not that this is related to the first question, but I’d go for Madam Auring. I think she knows how to give Archie good head, the reason why the boy is staying. He he. Tiya Pusit was married to someone younger but not as young as Archie, and I heard they separated.

Ahhh, go for the one with the track record, eh? You seem to be steeped in showbiz pop culture. Do you watch showbiz talk shows a lot?
SKY: Right now I’m trying to avoid TV. Showbiz talk shows get my ire unlike the way they used to be. Or I was just too young then to understand that to gain media mileage for a specific movie or show, one has to embroil himself in controversies. What we had back then? Sex videos of Coney Reyes with Eddie Ilarde, and Sharon Cuneta with Richard Gomez?

Growing up in the 80s especially before the advent of the Family Computer, entertainment consisted of five channels, right? I can’t say I’m steeped in showbiz pop culture—some of the questions I posted in my blog were previously provided by my wife, but those are the choices I had back in the 80s. Being the only kid in the house with a group of teenage cousins didn’t help either. Essentially it’s about acceptance, I grew up knowing these things and it’s not a weakness. It’s not baduy. I grew up with Transformers and Superfriends too, so I think the equation cancels out.

Yes, you should avoid TV. Just watch The McVie Show. That should guarantee a loss of just an IQ point or two instead of 10, hahaha!
SKY: I always click on your channel everyday. No day is complete without The McVie Show (except on weekends, I take advantage of free office internet) for me, even the episodes that deliver the shock factor.

Okay, don’t make me blush. I know you read Badinggerzie’s blog. Do you actually understand what he’s saying?
SKY: Gay lingo is so different. Even though I barely know a word or two of Ilocano, German or Mandarin, I can grasp the feel of the conversation I overhear. Gay lingo beats me. It’s funny the way it is, but I have to slow down to “decipher” and understand it. What Ginny Banaag, my Comm III teacher and first known babaeng bakla in UP, taught us before looks outdated now. Gay lingo is dynamic, as Badinggerzie would put it.

Do you forsee yourself putting a halt on your blogging?
SKY: I tried to halt my blogging before when I put down my blogdrive, but it seems the blogging bug can’t stop itching. It was easier to stop before because I only wrote for myself. I write for company newsletters, I write for technical publications—limited audiences. But now that there are thousands of potential readers, the self-absorption factor won’t let me go of blogging. I hate to admit it, but blogging to me is untrammeled self-love and I need it to live.

Ah yes, the greatest love of all is easy to achieve, online. So The White Papers continue, Warmbodies is now a sequel and on its way to become a franchise... what next? Any dream project in the future?
SKY: I just hope that when we reach the 100th Warm Bodies entry we can publish a collection in hard copy. That way, more people can read it anytime even without a computer. Our team still has to learn the ropes of book publishing though.

I’m also planning a food e-book (not necessarily a cookbook) in the near future but it’s still a long shot. Jamie Oliver get out of my way. My monuments of self-absorption. Ha ha ha.

Well, it has been great talking to you. I’m sure the viewers of The McVie Show will be wondering, “Why interview him?” What will you say to them?
SKY: “Inggit lang kayo, saksakin ko kayo dyan eh.” Just joking. Why interview me? For the simple reason that you approached me, that my blog is perceived as gay-friendly (and sometimes safe for work) and I obliged. It doesn’t make a dent in my sexuality anyway. Oo nga, why interview me? (pa-humble effect) I have no idea.

Winner answer! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Here's a toast to monuments of self-absorption, hahaha!
SKY: Thank you! I had a great time answering them too. Toast!