Don’t Cha Wish…?

So I bought the CD of The Pussycat Dolls because I like their song “Don’t Cha” and what do I get? Enclosed in plastic along with the CD is a black thong panty with the logo of the group. Oh! Since that was the first time I’ve ever had a close encounter with a thong, I decided to try it on, knowing it’s built for a woman’s contour.

Yes, the joke is true—like a cheap hotel, that panty has no ballroom. It felt weird to have my family jewels straining to get out of such tight confines. But what’s interesting is the feel of a strip of clothing between my butt cheeks. It’s awkward and kinky at the same time. People suffering from hemorrhoids should stay clear of thoingy-thoinga thongs. So aside from ballet dancers, what kind of guy would want to wear a thong? If a guy doesn’t like brief lines, he can always wear boxers or go sans underwear and just, uh, hang loose. I see no reason to rub your deeper nether region with cloth—doesn’t it get embarrassing come laundry time? The only other reason I can think of wearing a thong is if one delights in the feel of the rubbing sensation between cheeks (which I must admit has a certain kinky allure).

So now I don’t know anyone who’d appreciate that thong. (Of course, I had it washed surreptitiously after that one trial!) The only female friend I know who would dare wear a thong might not want to wear one anymore due to her change in status. But I’ll ask her anyway.

Otherwise, here’s a question for all you girls out there: Don’t cha want a Pussycat Dolls thong? Just holler.